The dogs and me

The dogs and me

Hi everyone!

Roge is extremely busy at the moment so he asked me to write a note 
updating both his dog diary note followers and my own readers.  So here 
it goes....

I'll start with matters dog.  Roge has been very busy over the last 
week (or so).  His business has meant that we have all been a little 
on edge.

The problem is that there is a new dog on the scene at the "compound" 
- as Roge so fondly refers to our place.  It would appear that everyone 
in our neighbourhood is desexed (apart from Mummy and Daddy who have 
just announced another Elliot for our house - more on that later).

Anyway, the latecomer to the block appears to not be very desexxed.

So, a week ago, Roge started to act a little strangely.  He couldn't 
sit still....  He couldn't concentrate....  He had trouble eating.... 
Things were getting a bit weird.

Now, Roge has been part of the family for about 7 years now (Roge is 
about 8 years old).  At no point has Roge ever even considered 
jumping a fence.  His preferred escape route has always been the 
elaborate construction of subterranean tunnels or to merely walk 
through the fence (depending on its state of repair).

Well, the seductive smells that were apparently emanating from this 
new vixen had so muddled Roge's mind that he'd lost the concentration 
needed to dig an escape hatch (I was worried that the concentration 
required to keep him breathing may also have left him).  But, 
apparently, he'd discovered a newfound vigour that allowed him to 
jump a six foot fence....

The only problem that Roge has is that his sense of smell has never 
been particularly acute.  This meant that for the first few days of 
scent he wasted a day (or more) in each of 3 (perhaps more for all I know) 
different backyards - none of which contained the vixen, but all 
sufficiently secure to mean that he remained there until rescued by 
the owner or daddy or mummy.

On about the fourth day, he discovered that the vixen was in a 
backyard diagonally adjoining the compound.

The problem then became one that overhanging trees meant that a 
single leap was impossible.  Nevertheless, Roge's substantial bulk 
coupled with a wooden fence meant that he could neatly step through 
a crack in the fence.

Let's just say that Roge has not been particularly keen to return home....

Daddy has been chaining him to a very large, heavy wooden bench 
(incapable of being carried by a single dad).  However, Roge found 
that the bench only impeded him when trying to slip through his fence 

Daddy and I have agreed that Roge is going to leave his current peak 
of health through a sustained regimen of overeating (apparently we 
have about 6 months before Roge's next maniacal phase).  I'm 
particularly good at adding and subtracting food whilst Roge eats 
(including a little rearrangement).  I also enjoy placing food for 
Ellie in her water bowl.

Ok, now to matters baby.

I've now got quite a large vocabulary.  I've been trying to keep it 
from Mum and Dad since I don't want them being able to hide things 
from me by using multi-syllabic words.  My main disclosed words are:
"Moom" - normally used generically to include both Mum and Dad
"Dud" - when having to refer specifically to Dad
"Jooose" - meaning drink or food and usually used as part of a chant
"MORE!!!" - enough said
"Hut" - when something burns
"Ooch" - when something hurts
"Plaan" - for those flying things
"Brid" - for those other flying things 
"Roooge" and "Ehl" - the dogs (Roger and Ellie)

But, I understand far more.  Daddy was pretending to a friend that I 
couldn't understand "Elliot, go and type a letter using Microsoft 
Word".  The funny thing was that I was just about to go into the 
study to play a little Command & Conquer anyway - so knocking up a 
quick letter for Dad was no problem.

I'm also enjoying a few funny walks (part of being a Latham means 
inordinate hours spent watching Monty Python (more recently 
Teletubbies has been replaced in the mornings by endless episodes of 
Star Trek Voyager and Deep Space 9)).  I've been required to perform 
the following walks:

. tippy toes
. wide walk
. high walk
. slide walk
. heel walk

Daddy has renamed the "wide walk" the "ricket walk" - he's been 
telling Nanny that I haven't been eating my veges and that 
something funny has been happening to my legs - Daddy loves to incite 
discussion with Nanny.

The last important thing I've got to tell you is about the new 
Elliot.  Apparently, I can expect a little brother or sister next 
September.  If it's a girl, I'm going to name her B'Ellanna 
(pronounced "Baylana").  If it's a boy, I'm thinking Elliot Jr or 
perhaps to add a medieval flair - "Elliot the Inferior".

I'm currently passing a number of property laws to assist in a swift 
incorporation of the little tike into the family:

1.    If I like it, it's mine.
2.    If it's in my hand, it's mine.
3.    If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4.    If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5.    If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6.    If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
7.    If it looks just like mine, it's mine.
8.    If I think it's mine, it's mine.
9.    If I saw it first, it's mine.
10.   If you are playing with something and you put it down, it
      automatically becomes mine.
11.   If it's broken, it's yours (unless suitable to be thrown 
      at the dogs).

I loosely based the laws on some rules I found on the Microsoft site.

I was actually a bit sick yesterday - so I got to go to big school 
with Mum - it's good there.  The big kids really aren't ready for you 
to put your finger on the bubbler when they drink.  I also got to go 
to a Church service at Mummy's school (Ash Wednesday) - you know when 
the kids kneel to pray you can actually jump from foot to foot down a 
whole aisle!  The textas there were also quite remarkable - they were 
called "permanent markers" - I now have the best camouflage of any 
kid at daycare.  Mummy said that the colours should fade as my skin 
peels over time.

I miss big school - the girls would give you chips if you sit next to 
them and put your hand on their leg or shoulder.  Daddy says that I'm 
a quick learner, but I need to spend more time on my smile.

Well, I'd better get back to feeding Roge - don't want him to get any 

See you

Elliot (on behalf of Elliot, Roge, Ellie and Elliot Jr)

PS If you're interested in Roge's adventures, you should try out his homepage:


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