Matters me

Matters me


Hi everyone

Well, another month of development has just passed me by.  As mummy 
begins to balloon (I mean "blossom"), I'm still learning about a lot 
of things....

First, there is the old wive's tale that once you turn 2, you are 
half your adult height.  For me, 2 is another 2 months away  - that 
means that I'm currently going to be something like 6 foot 3 inches - 
but I'm going to put a lot of effort into my growth over the next 2 
months to see if I can improve on the figure.

Now, I've also discovered that there is a very close correlation 
between index finger and nostril diameter.  I do hope that the 
correlation remains the same as I grow since I recently discovered 
the joys of semi-permanently housing the tip of my index finger 
there.

I also discovered that the correlation is personal since my finger 
has too much space when I stick it up mummy's and daddy's noses, 
whilst there is hardly enough space in Roge's and Ellie's noses.  The 
strange thing is that the reverse is true when it comes to their ears 
- I can snugly fit my index finger up to the second knuckle in 
mummy's and daddy's ears - but I need a stick to reach the bottom of 
Roge's and Ellie's ears.  Nature is very strange....

Another thing I've learnt is that there are certain "baby skills" 
that have been largely lost in the transition of people from baby to 
adult.  This became quite apparent when I was in the bath with daddy. 
There I was blissfully blowing bubbles with my mouth.  Now, daddy 
might be good at a lot of things, but bubble blowing isn't one of 
them - the best he could do was a frothy mass of bubbles around his 
mouth (like he was trying to eat too much frog spawn at a single 
sitting).  Daddy could not match my elegant bubble blowing 
capabilities.  Of course, mummy was better at it (she can even fit 
some of my plastic juggling balls in her mouth!), but elegance was 
certainly lacking.

It was at that point that I realised that mummies and daddies can't 
do everything - I was a little sad.

There appear to be a large number of other skills that have been 
lost.  For example, just last week I was standing on a kitchen chair, 
whilst mummy and daddy turned away for an instant....  By the time 
they had turned back I was lodged upside down balancing on my head 
between the chair and the kitchen cupboards.  Once given a bee-bix, I 
was as good as new.  That got me to wondering why daddy ended up 
having his arm in plaster for a month after falling through our next 
door neighbour's roof (well may you ask what he was doing there in 
the first place).  Daddy could learn a lot from me, I feel.

Other news is that I'm going to get a grown-up bed without bars on 
it.  We've been looking for awhile now and pretty much concluded 
on the type of bed.  Basically it needs to be big enough and sturdy 
enough to house daddy - he said that if I start sleeping in his bed - 
he'd move into mine (can't wait to get rid of the bars).  It seems 
that daddy doesn't like me lying sideways in his bed and waking him 
by kicks to his groinal region and smacks to his closed eyes.

We've also been reading a lot about bears, goats, pigs, hares, 
porridge, mice etc. in a nightly story reading.  The funny thing is 
that I don't think that the stories should be read to children - it 
doesn't bother me too much because I mainly entertain dad by saying 
"roar", "miaow", "woof", "maaa" etc. as the context requires.  But, 
the death and destruction in these stories would mean that if they 
were shown on television, they would have a rating of at least:

	AO (adults only) Frequent Violence and Fowl Language (Clucky 
	Lucky will have a speaking role)
	Some viewers may be distressed by some depictions shown.

Personally, I'd prefer to watch the nightly news than to have to 
listen to the tales of the devastation to pig homes and their edible 
nature in the name of fairy tales!

Well, until next time,


Elliot.


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