May the force be with you, And also with you

May the force be with you, And also with you


Hi everyone

Another month into the "naughties" and I still haven't been too much 
affected....

Felix has been afflicted with croup ( a virus that causes high 
fevers, tightening of the throat and painful coughing) - I call him 
"Honk-honk boy".  His room at day care is quite exciting at the 
moment since there's been chicken pox, headlice and more recently 
ringworm/tinea.  I'm trying to stay away from the whole bunch of the
littlies since they're bound to come down with tuberculosis and 
leprosy soon.

Felix's head is now pretty much shaved.  Whilst daddy was having his 
hair cut by mummy (I personally prefer to use a professional city 
hair stylist), daddy used the clippers to "neaten" Felix's hair.  
After removing a clump, he quickly passed the clippers to mummy who 
didn't realise that Daddy was actually using a "number 2" setting 
rather than Felix's usual "number 4" setting.  Needless to say, 
daddy got himself in trouble again and Felix is left a skinhead.  
Daddy did say  that he'd do my hair, but my speed, agility and 
high-pitched squeals meant that I was left alone.  As for Felix's 
chrome dome - at least it'll be easier to tell if he has headlice....

Felix and I have been enjoying watching Mummy play hockey.  Well, 
it's actually that we really enjoy eating the biscuits and chips that 
daddy brings for us.  I am the number one barracker for the team 
though - "Go Mummy!" and "Yay Mummy!".  The first week we watched 
Mummy score 4 goals, but last week she missed 4 goals.  I think I 
need to scream louder - it distracts the opposition.  Mummy says that 
my voice is very resonant - which means that when daddy and I lose 
mummy in the shopping centre, daddy gets me to scream out 
"MUMMY!!" - daddy says that I'm louder than the shop intercom.

Last week we sat in the stands at the field (we normally sit on the 
hill).  Mummy told daddy to sit near the bottom, but we couldn't get 
a good view.  It was strange watching Felix hit chair after chair 
until he made it eventually to the ground....

The big thing that happened last week was Star Wars - The Phantom 
Menace (pronounced "Phantis Mannis") and a new letterbox.

Daddy was sent down to the shop with me to post a parcel and collect 
a few things.  Mummy said that we were not to get the Phantis Mannis 
video.  Anyway, whilst getting some unauthorised lollies and a CD, we 
gladly purchased the Phantis Mannis video as well.  I did tell dad 
that I could wait till my birthday, but that it wouldn't be fair on 
Felix since he was too young to come to the pictures with daddy and 
me to see the Phantis Mannis.  With the Phantis Mannis and the 
subwoofer on, daddy can't concentrate in the study (even with the 
door shut).  I always demand the subwoofer when watching videos now!

By the way, daddy said that he'll take me to see Galaxy Quest this 
week.  Mummy says it's too old for me and that she'd like to 
occasionally be invited to things.....

The letterbox was another great daddy idea.  We were lying in bed 
very early one saturday morning a few weeks ago when the door of our 
mailbox happened to hit our house.  You should've heard daddy yell at 
the people standing out the front.  However, having to get dressed 
and get out a deadlocked front door meant that daddy lost those 
precious few seconds he needed to have a proper chat with the 
letterbox marauders.

So, last weekend, we bought a new metal letterbox - daddy especially 
chose a huge one so that packages could fit inside.  But, he needed 
to ensure that it was securely affixed to our concrete front fence - 
so metal brackets and dynabolts were called for - and in no small 
measure.  Now, you'd think that affixing a metal letterbox to a 
concrete post is probably an hour's job.  Well, one snapped drill 
bit, 7 dynabolts, 2 angle brackets and 5 hours later daddy finished 
the task.

I did my best to help by using the drill on the plants, prying up 
rocks with daddy's "torquemaster" screw drivers, throwing screws into 
the garden that appeared to have no purpose, swinging on the gate, 
rubbing flaky paint off the gate, slamming the front door to awaken 
Felix, needing food and drink several times and then needing to go to 
the toilet 3 times.

It looks like the letterbox isn't straight, but daddy has assured 
me that the concrete post on which it is sitting is actually angled 
and "out of whack" (which I think is a technical building term) - so 
it's all really an optical illusion.  But provided that the post 
doesn't fall over, that letterbox isn't going anywhere!  The only 
difficulty after all that effort is that the postman leaves parcels 
now on top of the letterbox.


Elliot

PS If you happen to see daddy today or tomorrow, you need to ask him 
about the circular bruising on his forehead - he was sticking bath 
toys to his forehead last night in a vain attempt to frighten Felix 
and me.  Mummy says that daddy is a goose.



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