Baby matters

Baby matters

Hi everyone

I thought it was time for another update - I certainly am progressing 
a bit.

There has been some significant movement on the verbage front.  Last 
post, I told you about the the "Ma, Ma, Ma, Da, Da, Da" - well, I've 
been working on it and have developed it into a very distinct "Mum, 
Mum, Mum" - Dad's not all that pleased with that but has rationalised 
it by saying that at least that means less work for him.

Mum and Dad were also very surprised by thinking that I said "Volvo" - 
yes they have a new car - but I was actually saying "Iced Vo-vo" (a 
sugary biscuit sold here) - they just missed the "Iced" part.

I've sped up significantly as well.  I used to only combat crawl, but 
have tweaked that crawl by occasionally lifting my stomach off the 
ground - that helps me quickly manoevre over obstacles.  I am also 
standing up a lot (with some support).

My new mobility has resulted in the following triumphs:

. free access to television and video remotes - they now have a 
"somewhat slimy" feel - much better for quick changing of channels 
(although last night I got sprung during a repeat of Jurassic Park 
since I accidently hit the "menu" button on the remote - I have to 
remember to suck away from the TV).

. complete access to all bathroom draws - there really are some very 
interesting things to suck in there.

. total mobility up and down stairs (including a recently perfected 
Kamikaze move where I slide down headfirst (although this is only 
preferred on steep staircases)).

. access to the rear of the television - Mummy used to stack my toy 
box next to the TV to, I suspect,  stop me getting in there - but 
I've since found that once I've climbed onto it, and stood up, it makes a 
perfect platform for tapping, poking and viewing.

Mother's Day happened a couple of week's ago.  That posed a few 
difficulties since I chose a rather large biographical/art book on 
Van Gogh for Mummy.  After I found and chose it, I realised that it 
would be hard crawling home with it, so I had to get Daddy to get it 
for me.  You'd have thought that he'd have enough money on him to 
spring for it without having recourse to my paltry piggy bank, but 
Mummy certainly keeps him on a tight lead (he recently learnt how to 
transfer money to the cheque account and he mail orders CD's - Daddy 
should have his own mailing list to cater for all the hen-pecked 
husbands out there).  Actually I'm happy for Daddy to collect CD's - 
he says that it's my inheritance.

Well, that's about the advances (other than improving my waving 
technique - Mummy and Daddy still don't understand why I choose not 
to wave at people, but quite freely wave to the TV and dogs).

I've been developing my vocabulary and have decided to start a baby 
dictionary (with the help of Mummy and Daddy):


AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labour to
have sex again.

DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance
apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

FULL NAME: What you call your child when you're mad at him.

GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even
though they're sure you're not raising them right.

IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labour is still vivid.

INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do
everything we say.

PRENATAL: When your life was still somewhat your own.

PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing
dry shoes and/or clothes into it.

SHOW OFF: A child who is more talented than yours.

STERILIZE: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and
to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

TOP BUNK: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

Until next time,


Elliot


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