14 July 13972

Last night was an interesting one. We were allowed to come inside to watch the second part of Gulliver's Travels (starring Ted Danson). I was sad that we missed the first part last night - the second part was really was quite well done. It was interesting to note that they didn't show the fifth world that Gulliver went to: Caniput.

Gulliver's adventures in Caniput with the Caniputians were really much better than those with the Lilliputians, Houyhnhnms, Yahoos etc. When he went to spend time with the Caniputians all he did was sit around patting them in front of the fire - no daring escapes, no great adventures, just a calming time spent with the Caniputians. Perhaps Gulliver threw the odd ball and gave them the odd bone, but it really is a great adventure. Ellie has a theory that the World of Caniput was cut from the story in the late 12,000's when dogs were being withheld from learning to read by their overbearing masters (it is rumoured that the Caniputians actually represented dogs) - there really isn't anything new under the sun. Perhaps the most interesting part of the story was where Gulliver suggests that the puppies of the Caniputian poor be sold as food to their wealthy masters, thus turning an economic burden to general profit. Jonathan Swift (11669-12215) really was quite an interesting writer.

I suspect that Swift is one of my favourite writers. I end up reading a lot of Arthur C. Clarke, since Master Craig is a big fan and so its easy just to wander in and borrow a volume. Arthur C. Clarke isn't bad, but I haven't read one book of his that features a dog. Lots of aliens - no dogs - the guy really doesn't have that great an imagination. I do have a like, though, for tawdry romance stories - I'm a bit of an old romantic at heart. Unfortunately, Master Craig doesn't have much in the character of tawdry romance. I suspect that Mistress Liz will devolve that way as she spends more time at home (yesterday, I caught her reading the articles in "Woman's Weekly" - she says she only buys it for the crosswords).

So, the problem has come down to how do I lay my paws on romance. Rusty 1 has a small collection under his master's house, but there's only so many times you can read a Mills & Boon.

However, I have gotten myself a library card. Libraries are really interesting places. They're like the pup that sits down the back of the pack and tries to lick everyone - these people actually have books and are happy to lend them to anyone. It was a bit of a struggle getting the card since we weren't quite sure if the library had many canine borrowers. We were heartened to see that the door only said no food or drinks (apparently pets are allowed - at least implicitly). Getting the card was, I admit, quite difficult.

Now here's some tricks for the pups out there. What I did was grab one of Master Craig's jumpers and put it on. Before I entered the library, I muddied my feet so that my toenails wouldn't click on the floor (I saw the episode of Seinfield where Cosmo dates the librarian and I knew how embarrasing it is to make loud noises in libraries). I then walked into the library, avoiding eye contact with all librarians. I went to the counter and leant against it (standing on my hind feet). I quite nonchalantly pointed to the notice that talks about getting a library borrower's card and gave a polite little cough. The librarian starting filling out a card for me. I thought I was home, but she then asked me where I lived. I was afraid that she might be going to report me to Master Craig (I hadn't gotten permission to go to the library - but what sort of Master would bar a dog from improving his mind). I did, however, obey Master Craig's vehement command that I should not talk to strangers (I take it that this includes librarians). I had prepared a note for exactly this purpose:

my library note

The librarian read the note, smiled and completed the card. I coughed as she handed me the card and went straight to the shelves to look for romance. I found quite a few and I'm now in the middle of the adventures of Dirk, whose mother and father abandoned him at an early age and his escapades in East India where he met the beautiful yet dangerous Princess Eliana. I suspect that if Arthur C. Clarke had written it, the aliens would shortly arrive, abduct Princess Eliana and that would be the end of that. Anyway, I've got many a read ahead!

Lastly, a note from Sam:

HI,

It's Samantha. Today I showed my mistress, Linda, why a dog is far superior to any cat. As I was sitting on the deck in the back yard one of those cats was out walking about aimlessly. He turned back near the garden fence. I knew that he was going to make a break. I barked but she was sitting around talking with other humans about her vacation. I now had to act fast. I ran over to the fence and "BARKED-BARKED" my special warning. Then she jumped into action and brought the cat back home to safety. I was rewarded with my favorite treat a fried pigs ear. This proves that DOGS RULE! But how about my home page I asked. She said they are working on it. Keep BARKING, Samantha.

Great work, Sam. However, I have one question for you - if the cat had escaped, wouldn't that mean one less cat at your place? I agree "Dogs Rule", but next time first put on your thinking cap! Fried pigs ears, yummm.... the most I ever got here was fried silk purse.


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Ellie Take me to the next diary entry!

a very nice picture of me I'd be very happy if you'd sign Master Craig's visitors' book before you leave (he won't create one for me).

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