Another week, another 150 hours of sleep...
Well, weíve gotten back into the ordinary run of things after the hectic residential school period.
Unfortunately, Master Craig and Mistress Liz didnít go away for the weekend - so it was only walk on lead time.
Walk 1 involved a trip down to Bathurst CBD (or as Ellie called it "Canine Boring Day"). We got to see the street parade that accompanies the Bathurst 1000 (formerly the Bathurst 500) - 1,000 km v. 500 miles. The race is between large Holden and Ford motor vehicles at Mount Panorama, Bathurst which go around a 6.7km windy track for about 6 hours very fast. Well, do they sell tickets to unaccompanied dogs - NO! And Master Craig doesnít have much of an interest in car racing.
Funny, Master Craig has the driving licence but no interest in driving, whilst Roger Fastdog has racing skill but no licence. Of course, Master Craig allows us to use paddock bashers at friendsí places, but he never allows us to drive on the road.
Anyway, the parade was ok. There were the macho guys in overpowered cars. There were the dancing clowns. There was the ballroom dancing float (it explained a lot of the reasons why Ellie and I have no real inclination towards the activity). And there was the Christian float.
The Christian float consisted of a flatbed truck plasted with paintings of rainbows with people sitting on bales of hay. I heard Master Craig remark that the display was bound to win a ton of people to Christ and show everyone how fun Christians are.
But, it actually got me thinking of how I'd design a good Christian float...
I think that that would work much better - not that we'd be allowed to go to Church even though we came up with the idea (it's that fundamentalist notion again that dogs don't get to go to heaven since we allegedly have no soul - see earlier diary note).
But leaving Christian floats alone, it got me thinking about the missing float - the canine float. I can see it now - Master Craig pushing Ellie and I around in a wheelbarrow. Weíd plaster the sides with pictures of our internet awards and perhaps some of the text from classic Roger episodes.... Now that would attract some attention!
The second walk didnít involve a parade. It was modest - Master Craig, Mistress Liz (quite rare for her nibs to deign to walk with the common folk), Young Elliot, Ellie and I. We went for quite a long walk, culminating in a short dip in the Pool of Remembrance down at the local cemetery. It was good too - the day was hot, I was thirsty and the pool is of sufficient depth to let me wade, whilst simultaneously drinking water at head height.
Well, they were the high points of the week, except for the song Master Craig wrote about Ellie and I - I think it was called "My only true friends when Mistress Liz is screaming at me". Master Craig has promised to include it on these pages at some point, but heís said that heís not interested in writing it all out tonight.
Iíd better answer the mail before Master Craig falls asleep on me:
"Dear Roger and Ellie,
I have a problem, I brought home a mouse for my master and mistress and then I lost it, my master likes to chase them around (he's all cat). I found it again last night and managed to wake them up so my master could chase it (my mistress stands on a chair and screams when it comes near) however between us we lost it (it ran at my mistress...oh that scream). I had it (I sat on it) but them it managed to escape into the study and the door was shut so I couldn't follow.)
Anyway I was a bit embarrassed (I ran the wrong way) and ended up hiding under the bed. Now it is lost in a multitude of ole lecture notes and bookshelves, how can I find it so my master can finish his game???
Spot the Fetid."
Spot, I think youíve been watching a bit too much Tom and Jerry. The idea is simply - you see a mouse, you catch the mouse and you eat the mouse (or at least chew on it for awhile). Itís quite simple. Consider it as a three step plan (or the three Sís):
"Well, little Fluffy isnít a complete waste of time, she can at least catch the odd mouse."
Spot, if you have no saving graces, why will your Master and Mistress bother with you? Iíd say, get with the programme and start catching some mice or youíll be replaced by a mousetrap.
Take me to the next diary entry or show me the complete calendar!
I'd be very happy if you'd sign Master Craig's visitors' book before you leave (he won't create one for me).
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