I have enlisted the aid of Master Craig in writing this tale of greatest joy and deepest woe, since due to my advanced state of canine I have great trouble typing and it's only when Master Craig isn't concentrating that I get any real time to type my memoirs - for example, Master Craig has permitted me to type this short excerpt from my favourite movie:
"cfrgh vfrtsxf kmj;ko, jbghy gddertgrh bghjnhmy tgdsfr rdet6fbj cghesxdt3 nj90v wQ376BKJ N8956 JNY58HJN KM;LO"
roughly translated it says:
"it goes to eleven, that's one louder".
How about a link!
If you like this site, don't forget to link to it. You can use one of the snazzy piccies below:
Just a quick note to introduce ourselves, I'm the good looking one (Rogernald - although I prefer to be called "Roge" (pronounced "Rodge")) and the other seated one is Elanor (she prefers to be called ("Ellie" or "Elle" when she's trying to impress upon her friends that she has superdog status):
Actually, I'm exaggerating, we look like:
We live with Master Craig and his master Mistress Liz.
I'm writing these memoirs in an attempt to educate masters all around the world as to the complexities of doggy life - it sure isn't a bed of stinking rubbish!
Both myself and Ellie came from the pound. I'm actually a bit sorry that I had to leave there - I had so many friends and it smelt ten times better than here (although I'm often reminded of it after Master Craig returns from basketball - he always seems to put on perfume to play basketball).
Ellie and I are "married" in the doggy sense (although I've been "desexed" as Master Craig so commonly puts it and Ellie has had her tubes tied) - so our family isn't likely to increase unless someone digs their way into the "compound". Ellie is a modern dog, so she decided to keep her puppy name and so become the hyphenated Dogue-Dogue that she so elegantly pulls off.
Next door on one side lives "Rusty" and another "Rusty" lives on the other side. We find it very confusing that you never know who's barking about whom. This is one gripe that I have with masters - I seem always to be sniffing Rusty or Pepe or Spot or Princess (yuk) or Duke - talk about lack of imagination!
Luckily, we have our own secret names (I haven't told Master Craig that I am really Prince Rogernald of the Fields of the Muskly Butox, whilst Ellie is Princess Ellie of the Dark Towers of the Far Distant Tree That Looks Remarkably Like a Dog and the Rusties are Rusty 1 and Rusty 2 - they really are a bit boring).
We don't mind having to live outdoors - we know we have a job to do - we need to lie in wait for any wrongdoer who may come within a kilometre of the boundaries of our house. Master Craig likes to joke with other masters that we are only stopping the ground from getting dirty under ourselves (he is often cruel like that), but he doesn't understand that when we close our eyes and snore it's all just a trick (we actually hear a lot better with our eyes closed).
We like to go to the park and really enjoy windsurfing (ok, we would like to windsurf if we lived a bit closer to the beach, were allowed to use our collar money to buy a second-hand windsurfer and had opposable thumbs).
Here is a cartoon of what Ellie does all day:
Master Craig has promised that we can keep the world informed as to our exploits over the coming years and has agreed that we may continually update this page - so please pawmark us for future reference. Why, I'll just let you know what we did today (56 February 13972):
and that wasn't even an unusual day!
We have done much more since our first day on the web! To find out what we've done this month, just click on the pawprint of day you want to look at and get whooshed off to my diary entry for that day!
To find out what we've done in previous months and years, click below and look into my diary:
Or you might like to browse some classic adventures:
To be automatically notified of new postings, please MAIL ME to let me know that you'd like to be included on my mailing list.
Our longer term future on the net is open to question. We are not yet fully on-line (I'm pushing for an outdoors internet connection and, despite Master Craig's full support, Mistress Liz won't allow it).
Ellie and I are mounting a protest against Mistress Liz's technologically oppressive conduct - we want our backyard internet connection. The action which we're adopting is asking all to make their screens white in a continuing protest. If you want to join the fight, drop us a line and we'll add you to the following page dedicated to our supporters:
Ellie wanted me to let you know that her favourite saying is:
"a piece of grass a day keeps the vet away"
But, let me leave you with one of my favourite sayings:
"let sleeping dogs sleep so they don't tell lies"
Hear me bark, for I am Roge:
Master Craig has agreed to collect and forward any mail to us, so click on the button below for full contact details:
Our awards are numerous:
If I could sniff each person who has come here, I would be up to my sniff since 7 July 13979.
I'd be very happy if you'd sign Master Craig's visitors' book before you leave (he won't create one for me).
Return to: The Marvellous World of King Craig