We've been hearing a lot about the millennium bug in recent times. Instructions have even been given as to how much food, water, money and medicines we should stock up on prior to the fateful day.

There are a few very fundamental points which have to date been completely ignored by the media. These points are of such significance that it is beyond the writer's understanding as to why they have been neglected.

Millennium bug, schmillennium schbug!

I'm an 80's guy - it was in the 80's that I became an adult, formed my musical and fashion tastes, saw a lot of films....

Now, there's this big fuss about how the end of the world is about to happen at the end of this decade just because of a couple of digits in some computers. Let me tell you that at the end of the 80's far worse effects occurred:

• my wardrobe expired
• my records could no longer be played on state of the art audio equipment
• new thicker 90's toast, muffins and foccaccia couldn't fit into my 80's slimline toaster

I am personally still suffering from an inability to wear a nice leather or woollen tie, a pink shirt with luminescent green slacks and no socks. Let me tell you that there are many more like me and that the pain and suffering that we daily wear as a badge of honour far outweighs the cost of a few planes falling from the skies.

Which year are we talking about?

Everyone seems to have assumed that the millennium bug will hit at the end of 1999/beginning of 2000. This demostrates a complete misunderstanding of the whole millennium issue.

The new millennium does not commence until 1 January 2001.

This notion may come as a surprise to some, so we'll take a step back in time.... When do you think the years AD commenced? The answer is 1 (there was no year 0). Hence, the first decade ended at the end of 10 AD (let's count them 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10). Similarly, the first score ended at the end of 20 AD, the first century at the end of 100 AD and the first millennium at the end of 1,000 AD. Accordingly, the second millennium ends at the end of 2000 AD.

The upshot is that all those relieved at the beginning of 2000 by the mildness of the millennium bug may get a nasty surprise at the end of 2000!

Population boom

Another ignored aspect of the millennium bug is that there is an anticipated international population boom at the end of the millennium. This is due to the unknown effects that the millennium bug will have on the female contraceptive pill.

Any date-sensitive machine obviously may be affected by the bug. But, this also potentially applies to date-sensitive medication.

Let me prophesy that there will be a number of surprised parents-to-be about February 2001!

Rex Petra
March 1999