1st Joe writes:
"I'm a "golden terrier". I don't know how I got on your page, but I enjoyed it."
Then Spot the Fetid writes:
"Dear Roger, Get a life. Spot (Your furry friend) PS I wear the fur in my household, I just have servants, unlike dogs who get locked out, I have full access: all I to do is walk towards the approapriate door and it opens (this includes the fridge door). My masters don't get upset with my behaviour, they just learn to live with it, as good servants do (good help is so hard to find). In fact my servants can't even come to visit you Roger Dodger because I will not permit such a disruption to my lifestyle."
Spot, I've heard that your masters don't visit me due to your poor behaviour. I really find your feline sense of superiority annoying - nothing that a few toothholes around the collar wouldn't fix.
As for your masters (if I may call them that), they really sound insipid. At least Master Craig won't let Ellie and I run rampant in our household. It gives me some sense of security knowing that there are boundaries and where they lie. Just last Saturday, Master Craig showed Ellie and I the boundary that once you run off from the front yard he gets rather mad and a little physical - although I recovered almost instantaneously, it took Ellie a day to come to a new appreciation of Master Craig (she's a bit of a sulky/scary dog).
Now to Iago and Othello:
"Dear Roger and Ellie, We have slinked onto the net. Matty and Julia now have kittennet so we have gained net access. We loath however the lack of a home page. The chairs in this room are quite comfy and I may decide to stay permanently. Mind you I'm within a whisker of being caught typing this. Roger we feel that Spot has some valid points, maybe if you take your nose out of the bottom you may begin to accept some more open minded cat views. We believe Ellie, has already an appreciation of cat things, that is why she likes to chase birds. With a few lessons from us she might learn to catch them!!!! Nice cat calling with you Roge and Ells, we'll catch ya later, Iago and Othello PS Our female companion keeps calling us spawn of the devil, what do you think this means??? PPS Can your contraption catch mice???"
I like the sound of "kittennet" (I guess K-net, for short). I also support your need for a homepage - have you looked at Matty's Pages recently? Talk about dull. If you get a homepage make sure that it's not linked to Matty if you want to be a "cool cat".
I also like the way you side with Ellie - although I think that she must be suppressing her cat side, since she salivates at the sight of a feline hide. Ellie is a dog - I wouldn't get too pal-ly Iago and Othello.
You certainly sound like the spawn of the devil.
My contraption can now do many things - I built into it a rolling mechanism. The broom handle will roll across the floor when pushed. Once it gets enough velocity it will kill mice by squashing them. It also has a pro-logic breaking mechanism - I use the combined forces of gravity and friction to slow it.
Now to our best buddy, Shadow:
"Dear Roge and Ellie Apologies for not having written sooner, but surely you remember how busy things are when you're a puppy. Sleep all day, hassle master and mistress all night. Lately I've found that pillows are almost more fun to chew than shoelaces, though still not quite as satisfying as human flesh. Seems the humans in my house don't much appreciate my biting. They're not very playful. Everytime I try to draw blood they spray me with a squirt gun. Naturally, this makes me bark a lot. I made a big discovery today, almost an archeological find. it seems to be a septic tank for dogs. Must have belonged to the previous tenant. Anyway, the stuff in there must be a year old. I think it may even be too funky for ME! My previous find was an old oil filter, which didn't taste all that great. Also, I got my first bath the other day. I really hate that. On an unrelated matter the fleas seem to be bothering me less. Well, got to go terrorize the other inhabitants. Hope all is swell with you. By the way, I weigh about 40 pounds now, and only 18 weeks old. Hehe. And I think I can almost open the refrigerator by myself. I'll write when I finally get in and let you know what they keep in there. All for now. Nips and slobbers, Shadow."
Pillows are much more satisfying than shoelaces - have you tried shaking them once they're ruptured? I've always enjoyed that. However, you should remember that chewed shoes often get quite a great reaction from your master or mistress.
The spray gun sounds interesting - I combat such devices in a number of ways:
Using these methods you should be able to prolong your biting of your master.
I'd be very interested in hearing what's in the fridge - I'm thinking of building-in an automatic fridge opener into my contraption.
The septic find sounds very exciting - what it's about 7 years old? A whole canine empire could lie there awaiting desecration!
As to old oil filters - old tends to be boring - have you tried your Master's current vehicle tyres?
One last point - I hope you're not going to develop a weight problem, Mr 40 Pounds! Although, I guess a lot of it will just be puppy fat.
Take me to the next diary entry!
I'd be very happy if you'd sign Master Craig's visitors' book before you leave (he won't create one for me).
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