I thought I'd start today's diary note with a very happy message - Ellie has vowed that each time a person votes for my site, she'll take back one defamation of my character.

(You can vote at http://www.webawards.info.au/index.html - I'm listed under the categories of Arts & Entertainment and Innovative or Original Content.)

Remember - please help me escape defamation!

Back to less important matters, Mistress Liz has been affected by this site!

You might remember that last week I wrote about the Torville and Dean fiasco (Ellie and I were excited about participating in "Crazy Day", by dressing up as Torville and Dean - we got all dressed in our leotards and had crudely fashioned ice skates on, but just as we were about to jump in the car, Mistress Liz made it quite clear that we are 2nd class dogs).

Anyway, Mistress Liz has recanted. She's allowing us to do little Torville and Dean shows in the backyard for Young Master Elliot, the Rusties, visitors, possums etc. So far we have given 5.5 shows.

What I did was attach an old fridge motor to the body of a lawn mower. All we have to do is pass the mower over the surface of the wet patio and voila - ice fit for the Disney Escapades! (Although the 0.5 of a show may be accredited to unseasonally hot weather that meant that the ice melted before we could finish the show - I was keen to continue, but Ellie is such a glamour-puss that she said that she simply wouldn't take off her skates and pretend that she was skating - she said that a wet leotard is just too disgusting).

We've been pretty well-received and have been thinking about opening the show to the general public. The only problem as I see it is that our show lasts only about 5 minutes. We can do the same thing over again (if you've ever watched ice skating or Scooby Doo, you'd know how this goes ("If it weren't for you darn kids I would've gotten away with it too...."), but Ellie and I have too much artistic integrity to use our audience in that way. It's left us with a real dilemma.

We've asked Master Craig whether he could offer anything - yeah, like our audience would just looove to hear endless renditions of Eidelweiss, Kumbaya and Dinosaur Jr covers. His only other offer was a show entitled "Hedge trimming for fun and profit". It sounds like that one may fit into the format of our show, but we may leave it until the end.

We have also been speaking with Young Master Elliot - he reckons that there is a huge audience for his avant-garde riding of his little plastic fire engine. To be blunt, as soon as someone says "avant-garde" - I immediately think boring arty waste of time. Look - if he could ride the thing fast, we could stick him in a spherical "Cage of Death" - but no-one is going to be interested in fire engine driving, no matter how arty it is.

That leaves Mistress Liz. Well, she just doesn't seem to want to perform. Apparently, she can play the piano - but, no, she's not interested in auditioning for our show.

Maybe we're just ahead of our time, but we're being offered no support at home.

The one good thing that has happened for our show is Gladys. Man, can the gal yodel! She's currently very interested in that Hansen crowd of kiddies - you should hear her yodel MMM-Bop.

It looks like it's going to be just Ellie, Gladys and I....

Well, let's have a look in the mailbag - First, to April and Bear:

"Hi Roger and Ellie,

With school and college back in session we don't
get much time on the computer. The radio room has a bunch of computers
and parts. April and I can't seem to figure out which one is for
internet.  When the cats move the mouse one of the screens flashes and
the computer talks.  Master Don and son Chris and the girls know what
they are doing. Even though we protest that animals need computers they
say go lay down. As we sit here with our master writing this letter the
screen keeps changing to some radio program.  Our master is trying to
work someone in your land on Willis Island VK9WM.  Chris is doing home
work on the other computer.  We are told that some day they might make
bark recognition and we can use them any time we want.  Well we must
go take our nightly walk and sniff of the neighborhood.

We will bark again soon

April and Bear in Concord Twp. Ohio USA"

I don't know, April and Bear - I'm beginning to think that all this technology stuff is just too much.... I'm thinking very seriously about just "laying down" - maybe you should consider whether this is a better use of your efforts.

Next, Dezel writes about my email signature file (pretty exciting stuff):

"Dear Rogernald,

I see you have been studying again  "P.R.O.C.A.N. A.N.T.I.F.E.L." how do
you find the time with looking after Master Craig, Mistress Liz, Baby
Elliot and Elle.

By the way what is the latest degree?

Dezel"

I don't know, Dezel, I live a pretty vigorous life. I guess it's the multi-vitamin tablets that get me through my hectic lifestyle - at least that coupled with a massive intellect (as far as dog brains go, mine is very heavy - ie. heavy not flabby). I'm currently thinking about enrolling to do tax with Master Craig at uni - but he reckons that he wouldn't be allowed to teach me due to our close relationship. He also isn't sure about the entry requirements - he reckons that he hasn't seen anything in the uni handbook barring dogs, but that the security staff may not allow me in the buildings. Just doesn't make sense....

To be automatically notified of new postings, please MAIL ME to let me know that you'd like to be included on my mailing list.

Take me to the next diary entry or show me the complete calendar!

I'd be very happy if you'd sign Master Craig's visitors' book before you leave (he won't create one for me).

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