Well, at last it happened....

I attended my first date, my first concert and had my first serious goodnight kiss.

The car lasted all the way to Sydney and back without any major trauma. We found a parking spot near the concert...

The only major hiccup was when we tried to get into McDonalds. Don't believe their cartoons of all these wonderful animals etc. enjoying McDonalds.

The story is that I got Gladys and myself a table, whilst she ordered our meal. I wanted a Big Kahuna burger with some of their fried chicken. Well, that caused a bit of a stir - apparently the Big Kahuna burger was only a special (along with the McRib, which they also refused to supply). Also they reckon that they've been serving only chicken nuggets for some time now.

Anyway, I'm just about to start munching on my substitute Big Mac, when a young lass (couldn't have been older than 11 in human years) whispers in my ear:

"Excuse me sir, but health regulations mean that you'll have to eat that burger outside"

I felt the blood rush to my face and I retorted:

"I'm sure, if I was a lesbian cat, you'd have no 'health problems' with me eating here."

Gladys told me not to cause a stir and pulled me outside.

This is the sort of treatment that I've become to expect of our police state - the glances in the street when Gladys and I walk hand in paw, the pardon me's when we have a little cuddle....

There is something sinister lurking in our society. When I go to a Star Trek convention no-one even bats an eyelid, but go to a drive-in and suddenly everyone is acting stupidly.

Anyway, after that fracas, we made it to the Pavement concert on time.

It was totally totally totally totally amazing. Pavement were awesome.

I NEARLY didn't get in.... As I've said before, I used Ellie's fake ID (together with some understated makeup - Gladys didn't seem to mind too much). I think that the only reason that Ellie and I look similar is because we're both dogs (although the make-up did help). Otherwise I look totally unlike Ellie (I'm really quite suave, swish, svelte and some other 's' words). But the doorguard person didn't seem to think so - but the second person at the top of the stairs - you know where you get stamped? Well, she told me to take my beanie off (I was using it for disguise purposes only - it certainly doesn't match my usual stylish dress sense) and my sunglasses - which I was also wearing only to hide my face - I was like really worried... but then she goes "that looks more like you now" and I just went WHAT?? (Well I at least thought that but ran inside with Gladys before she could change her mind, although the stamping did take a second.)

I don't quite remember the order, but for all those pavement afficiandos(?) out there, I think this is what they played:

Olde to Begin
Stereo
Shady Lane
Starlings of the Slipstream
Passat dream
Fin
Type slowly - which was the last song - this is not in order...
Blue hawaiian 
That music one from Brighten the Corners
Transport is arranged
Box Elder
Perfume - V
Here
Elevate me Later
Cut your Hair
Father to a sister..
Kennel District..
The Hexx
Westy can't Drum
An old one which I'm not sure of the name of..

I think that it was EXCELLENT..

I was in the very front row right in front of the lead singer (you know he can't hold his microphone - looked like his hands were paws).

The best thing was that they started at about 9:30pm and finished around 11:30pm... so my escapade was kept a secret.

Gladys got me home by 2am and, since I'm a gentleman I won't explain in graphic detail, but Gladys sure can kiss!

We're going to see some more bands when we can. The other thing was that Gladys says that I'm her "special customer" and that she'll make sure my photos get developed for free... what a babe. The only thing I need to get now is a camera. Well, enough about me....

First to Samantha:

HI,

Just Samantha.  Sorry it's been so long but we had a computer problem with
our modem.  The new one was fighting with the old one.  We were going no
where.
So How did the big date go?  Roge, I know that you could pull the whole
thing off without a hitch.  I will agree she is nice.  But what do you two
really have in common?
Is it just lust or puppie love?  Either way have a great time.  I have been
wondering about Ellie.  Why is she acting out?  Does she have a vision of
the future that we can't see?  Or does she just have a drinking problem? 
Anyway, Roge be careful.  One last question.  What have you been able to
teach Elliot.  He should be quite mobile and able to help with some of your
plans. 

Gotta go.  Mistress Linda needs to get some work done.

Samantha.

P.S.  I do have lovely green eyes.  Thank You.  Better picture to
follow.

As you'd now know the date was great. But what do we have in common? Pah! Like about everything - she's good looking, great sense of humour, we like the same bands, she's got a car (I need a car), she's got a high disposable income.... The similarities are endless.... You sound just like Master Craig - what's wrong with Ellie (despite her drinking problem), you should spend more time at home, tawdry romance books should be enough, she's just after you for your silky coat.... Well, for once I'm happy and I'm going to listen only to my heart.

Next up is Martin:

Roger,

According to the following excerpt from your most recent diary entry:

>Pavement don't come on until about 11:30 pm - they should finish by 
>about 1 pm, but then it's a 3 hour trip back from Sydney to Bathurst. 
>That means that I should well and truly be back by 5 am (after a 
>goodnight kiss with Gladys). She's very keen to go too (Pavement is one 
>of Beryl's favourite bands, together with Sebadoh, Dinosaur Jr. and 
>Frank Black), but she has to be at work early the next day - which means 
>that she'll get only about 3 hour's sleep.

The following sequence of events must occur:

1. Pavement begin at 11:30pm and finish about 1pm, suggesting they play 
for around 13.5 hours.

2. Arrival in Bathurst after the three hour trip would happen at about 
4pm. Given that you won't be getting back home until 5am and that you 
attribute the delay to your "goodnight kiss", that kiss would need to 
last for approximately 13 hours.

We must thus conclude that Pavement is very good value for money, since 
few bands can last for 13.5 hours. I suspect, however, that they may have 
to repeat some of their songs.

Martin.

She is a very good kisser....

Next to Heidi et al.:

Dear Craig,

(WHAT AM I, CHOPPED LIVER? - ROGE)

...

You see, when Heidi was found, she weighed 35 pounds, had the mange and
children were throwing rocks at her.  She was very sick and frightened.  We
did not find her.  Someone else did and called the lady at the animal
adoption place in Birmingham.  That lady took care of her, took her to the
vet and got her well.  As stated before, now she weighs about 110 pounds,
coat beautiful and shiney, sort of fawn in color, green eyes-beautiful and we
are so proud of her.  

...

Heidi is pretty intelligent and is learning to type. I have had to raise the 
typing chair up for her, of course.  She is so interested in Roge and Ellie's 
page that I have difficulty getting on line myself.

I have had to set the computer to parental control to keep her out of sites
she shouldn't visit.  She is constantly trying to guess the password but it
is well hidden.

She uses my printer to print pics of muscle dawg, &c.  Uses all of the ink
and paper. Has his pics all over my office walls.

She intends to interview Roge and Ellie by email, however it might be a
while longer before she gets her own page finished and loaded.  She is
working on it though.

She will get her interview prepared and sent and if Roge and Ellie are
interested, they can respond.  

Ed, Pat and Heidi

Well, at last a dog with a bit of nous - what an interesting interview you'll get. (CONFIDENTIAL NOTE FOR HEIDI: couldn't you get rid of the parental control by re-loading Netscape - worth a try?) More than happy to do the interview. Ellie will too (provided she's sober).

By the way, this is Heidi:

I guess Heidi is pretty busy around Christmas time.

Next to Spot

Dear Rabid Roger,

Please read the attached article from the Sydney Morning Herald from 
Monday, 4th August 1997. Note particularly the last sentence.

Regards,

Spot.

This is Spot the Fetid's admirable contribution to this page:

I just wonder whether the fact that Ellie is a Cattle-Collie-Kelpie means that she is Cattle x Collie x Kelpie or Cattle + Collie + Kelpie likely to bite Master Craig, Mistress Liz and our Young Master Elliot. At least Collies and Kelpies appear to be rare biters. Of course, I don't have any munchy problems - the only pain I cause Master Craig is through inertia (he really needs to wear inertia reel seatbelts on our walks).

I quite liked the way the article finished - "seems like its time to get a cat". The only problem I have is that their ribs tend to get stuck between my teeth.

One thing I couldn't understand is how the Sydney Morning Herald had heard about Master Craig and myself, got Master Craig's piccy right, but totally mucked up mine.

Until next time...

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Take me to the next diary entry or show me the complete calendar!

I'd be very happy if you'd sign Master Craig's visitors' book before you leave (he won't create one for me).

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