| Collie + Lhasa Apso | Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport |
| Spitz + Chow Chow | Spitz-Chow, a dog that can't keep it's food down |
| Bloodhound + Borzoi | Bloody Bore, a dog that's not much fun |
| Pointer + Setter | Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet |
| Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier | Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries |
| Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso | Pekasso, an abstract dog |
| Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever | Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists |
| Newfoundland + Basset Hound | Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors |
| Terrier + Bulldog | Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes |
| Bloodhound + Labrador | Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly |
| Malamute + Pointer | Moot Point, owned by....oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway |
| Collie + Malamute | Commute, a dog that travels to work |
| Deerhound + Terrier | Derriere, a dog that's true to the end |
Something that did happen was that the local CD shop was having a special day ("Crazy Day") where if you went to the shop dressed as an artist, you could buy that artist and get another CD for free - not a bad deal. Well, Master Craig got excited, until he realised that it's very hard to stand out as a particular artist he likes (although he does a pretty darn good impression of Frank Black). How do you stand out as a pasty-faced skinny guitarist with no dress sense?
Anyway, he was forced into a diorama of a birdhouse (complete with Elliot's toy bird and heart inside). He donned Mistress Liz's cardigan and off he went. I won't tell you who he was, but I will tell you that he left a pathetic attempt at creating a pipe at home and was a giant hit down at the shop. Can you guess?
Anyway, Ellie and I had also gotten excited about it all. We were going to go as Torville and Dean - we were all dressed in our leotards and had crudely fashioned ice skates on. But just as we were about to jump in the car, Mistress Liz had to stick her nose in - "What are those two doing dressed like that and where do they think they're going?" Master Craig tried to stand up for us but Mistress Liz could break him like a twig if ever she really tried. Her main argument was that Torville and Dean haven't ever actually produced any music - probably a reasonable point - but the idea wasn't so much to take advantage of the offer, but just to participate in the festivities - Mistress Liz is very narrow-minded.
Young Master Elliot was also going to participate as "Teenage Fanclub" - by using a few streamers etc. - but Master Craig had that plan nipped in the bud. Mistress Liz also refused to dress up as Elvira - but I think that Master Craig may have had other less inncoent motives involved in that one.
Well, let's have a look in the mailbag - First, to Alex:
"Hey there Roge, You are a most ingenious dog, knowing how to compute a trial balance like that. I just wanted to know how you worked out how to classify the ledger balances into debits and credits. Luckily I just learnt accounting in school so I can understand it. Well done. Alex"
It's good that they're teaching the young something in school - I'm one of the old school who believe in the benefits of the three R's:
- Rough-housing;
- Writhing; and
- Arighting bad things
The reason why I know the rudiments of accounting is that I did a basic course in business management as part of my medical degree - it was to assist me in running my practice - the fact that I was banned from putting out my shingle has been adequately dealt with in past diary notes (although I still dispute the bad nail hygiene criticism).
Next to Heidi:
"A get well wish from Heidi. You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair. A persian proverb. Don't let them keep you down Elle. Get well and let 'em have it, girl. Best Wishes Heidi"
I'll pass on your kind wishes - but anything that Ellie has, I certainly don't want to catch!
As for those old birds (and possums) of sorrow - Ellie continues to make valiant attempts at tree-climbing - I think that that may be why she hurt her leg - those birds won't be safe forever.
Next to Alicia Forrester:
"Your dog page is awesome. The stories are really funny. I have a miniture Dachsound. She's gotten into quite a bit of trouble over the years. Once she slid against one of our newly painted walls and had a big white spot on her normally brownish coat for a year."
I hope that all that wasn't directed to Master Craig (I found it in his visitor's book without any reference to moi). On that basis, thank you. I, too, have been painted by Master Craig - he didn't tell me that he had painted the wall - well of course I need somewhere to lean....
Lastly, to Samantha:
"Roger and Ellie, I have been tardy in my writing to both of you. Mistress Linda has been on vacation in New England. She insulted me by having a babysitter watch me when she was gone. I feel that I can and could have taken care of myself. What is so hard about feeding myself and letting myself out. I have no problems with either duties. She mentioned something about me letting out all the cats. Isn't that where the belong? I trust Ellie is well on the mend? I hope that money never comes into the decision for my future medical care. Although they do have insurance for dogs. Maybe this is something Ellie may want to look into for her own future. Fall is on the way and so is my birthday. I am planning quite a party. I love the food and gifts. Do you celebrate your birthdays? Gotta go Mistress Linda needs the computer. Samantha"
I've had the same babysitting argument with Master Craig - my idea is that he should just open a 20 kilo bag of food and leave it in the garage - we'd then ration out the food - we'd split it 70:30 (based on our weight) and after we'd finished it in the afternoon that the family leaves, we'd just relax until their return.
I quite like the idea of insuring little Ellie - I'd actually insure her for alcohol poisoning - I reckon that the proceeds would pay for a good trip for us (I'd be the first dog to travel first class on an aeroplane - no sitting down the back for Rogernald Dogue).
As for birthdays - Master Craig hasn't got any really good record of our birthdays (this is the problem with pound dogs) - as he says "Stop yer hootin' and ahollerin' - every day is a birthday for yer mutts - back on the farm, you never saw no critters havin' parties - so just eat yer grits and keep your squarkin' traps shut". Maybe, I exaggerate slightly, but that is the gist of it. It's all very sad - are you going to invite us to your party? We hardly ever get to go out to parties.
Lastly, I was sent this joke (although, to be honest, I don't understand what all the fuss is about):
HELP WANTED
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the
window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must
be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal
Opportunity Employer."
A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and
went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then
walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.
Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office
manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However,
the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog
jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said "I
can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type."
The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a
perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and
gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned,
but then told the dog "the sign says you have to be good with a computer."
The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to
enter and execute a perfect program, that worked flawlessly the first
time. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded!
He looked at the dog and said "I realize that you are a very intelligent
dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I *still* can't give
you the job." The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put
his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity
Employer.
The manager said "yes, but the sign *also* says that you have to be
bilingual".
The dog looked at the manager calmly and said "Meow".I don't know what's so special about that dog's typing.
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Take me to the next diary entry or show me the complete calendar!
I'd be very happy if you'd sign Master Craig's visitors' book before you leave (he won't create one for me).
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