Do you remember how I reported last week that Master Craig was going to let me write early this week? Well, it's quite obvious what happened, isn't it? What has upset me even more is that Young Master Elliot appears to have a completely revamped page of his own!

Anyway, the news has finally broken - Master Craig has lost any plans of getting that little Mazda MX-5, the Fiat X19 or convertible Lotus. He's been discussing the possibility of a Volvo!

I'm just so embarrassed!

Why would you pass up a for a ?

Sure, Volvos are changing, but I just love the feel of the wind in my fur.

I really don't want either of the Rusties (the dogs next door) to see me around town in a tank. I was pushing Master Craig for the Fiat X19. That car looks like:

If we had one of them, we wouldn't have to take Ellie, the baby or Mistress Liz - it could be just the boys about town again.

Anyway, it appears that Master Craig really likes the safety aspects of the Volvo (he's been watching road fatality statistics again). I have warned him that the statistics are quite useless - you have absolutely no idea of the real effect of car accidents from those figures. To work out how many dogs are orphaned, you need far more in depth figures.

I actually don't like hearing about all the death on the roads - I'd prefer to hear a bit more about the cars. Sure you see pictures of mangled car wrecks, but they never tell you whether the car was written off or what sort of damage happened to the cars.

One good thing that happened this week is the arrival of a doggie beanbag - yep that wonderful 70's icon is now available in a sturdy washable format. Ellie is just loving it - I really don't like it too much - it's not made out of natural fibres (I'm a pure cotton person myself) - I just don't like the feel of polystyrene against my fur.

One bad thing that happened this week was that Mistress Liz and Young Master Elliot came outside and found Ellie and I munching on crabapples (my favourite) and grass (Ellie's favourite). Well, you should've heard Mistress Liz explaining to Young Master Elliot that dogs aren't normally herbivorous (how's the little fellow supposed to understand that anyway when he can't even say his own name). I really don't appreciate being labelled a carnivour (together with all the baggage that goes along with that). I'm a dog who is in touch with his feminine side - I'm not afraid to cry or otherwise show my feelings - I'll eat quiche if that's all that's available.... But I found it very brutal of Mistress Liz to simply pass me off as a freak for eating the odd herb.

Well off to the mailbag:

G'day Roge & Elle, My Name is Basil, named after the Very Famous British TV
hero  Basil Fawlty ( well thats wot me master said anyhow ) I saw me master,
Roger, (top name that!) lookin' at ya diary & fort I'd better rite to say Hi
from me & Elle, our Elle is short for Elefant! ***  OWW ! ***    WELL! ...St
Bernards are Bluddy Huge when ya only a liddle Cavillier King Charles
Spaniel like me, but she can do Reeely neat tricks, like putting a tennis
ball in 'er mouf an' ya can't even see it when she closes er mouf ( which,
bein female an all, aint often!) .......HA,..... Ya missed that time.
 Wiv regards to young master Elliot an'the bonding thingo, er are there any
Dingo's in your area?........sorry, sorry,... just a thort. 
 An' youse were looking for a name or summink wern't ya, well a couple that
I.....orrite, WE thought of were "THE BATHURST BOWSERS" -- "PAWS FOR
THOUGHT" --  or "FANGS FOR THE MEMORIES", there's more but their even worse,
I fink it's 'cos I bin lis'nin to master Roj an he wuz brought up in
Pommieland on a diet of The Goons, Monty Python and the Goodies!!!    Still
when ya 98doggieyrsold ya gotta laff at summink, aint
ya?.......................OW!....ORRITE! Elle tells me He's commin back,
unfortunatly (for me) she has to stand guard & smack me wiv 'er Paw
(hoof?.....ow!)to get my attenshun, on account of the fact I'm def....talk
to youse both next time he goes out to play wiv his
car.........................ORRITE, ORRITE! I'm commin'.....bye.  

Basil, do you have a speech impediment? It's just that you don't appear to have mastered English spelling or the rudiments (ie. the basics) of grammar. Despite your apparent vulgarity (that's a good term to describe the very nice dog that you are), you do seem to have some good suggestions for our logo. I quite like "Paws for Thought" and "Fangs for the Memories" - but I don't see you doing any of the hard work of drafting a picture to go along with it - shouldn't complain though - NO-ONE else even cared to make a suggestion. Actually, you might get on with Ellie (I think she's been watching too much Beavis and Butthead - she even knows which one's which), since she just suggested "Fangs Around Your Throat" as an appropriate catchphrase (she even snickered a la those bastions of good taste Messrs Beavis and Butthead).

I now feel a bit depressed. Oh well, I'll be getting Master Craig one of these models to make sure that he feels as bad as I:

Take me to the next diary entry or show me the complete calendar!

I'd be very happy if you'd sign Master Craig's visitors' book before you leave (he won't create one for me).

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