As you might have inferred from the heading - there have been a few night (and day) manoeuvres going on. I'm just a dog who likes my freedom (and other dogs food).

The real problem was that it was picnic day at the local school and the kiddies are such teasers - the way that they leave their bags just lying around the playground - they're just asking for their lunches to be stolen....

Well, Master Craig got up to his usual temper tantrums and I got a lecture. But, what is a free spirit meant to do? After he'd calmed down, I took Master Craig aside and carefully explained that I need a break from the Compound. I'm no longer a puppy - I need to spread my doggy wings and fly on a whim. I suggested that it is time that he send me to Club Pet in Tahiti - I even said that he should feel free to come along and have a holiday too (staying somewhere else to avoid cramping my style). After all, his blood pressure's been up a bit lately.

However, Master Craig didn't seem too keen on the idea of flying me to Tahiti - I think he may be a little hard up for cash at the moment. I suggested that he could instead fly me to the Great Barrier Reef - I've heard that it's quite nice there. After all, it's not just a holiday for me - it's a time when Master Craig can relax doing garden work whilst I'm away.

He seemed to be warming up to the idea when little miss sticky nose Ellie had to interrupt and say that she'd have to come too. Now, that really would cramp my style - she wouldn't be any fun at all. She's just not adventurous. Just think that if I wanted to go whitewater rafting what her reply would be - "Too dangerous", "I just want to lie here in the sun", "You're just doing it to meet muscular chicks"....

Actually, I must admit that the last reason isn't too far from the truth. It's one of the major reasons that I don't buy as many "indie" albums nowadays - the Spice Girls really do rule. I used to think that Posh was my favourite spice, but now I'm sure that Sporty is:

I'll also admit that I wasn't that sad to see Battered Spice leave the band - she always sang off key and I found her a trifle hard on the eye (compared to the more exotic spices). It should have a rather large impact on the band's sound. She was always fond of the pop sound and often countered movements by the other spices to move into the more interesting areas of thrash, industrial and baroque musical styles. If the girls manage to pull off an intricate mix of these styles, it could spell a greater musical revolution than that already brought on by the power of "Wannabe":

Wannabe

Yoi'll tell you what I want what I really really want, so tell me what you want what you really really want, I'll tell you what I want what I really really want, so tell me what you want what you really really want.

I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna zigzig ah.

If you want my future forget my past if you want to get with me better make it fast, now don't go wasting my precious time get your act together we could be just fine.

I'll tell you what I want what I really really want, so tell me what you want what you really really want,

I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna zigzig ah.

If you wanna be my lover you go to get with your friends make it last forever friendship never ends, If you wanna be my lover you have got to give taking is to easy but thats the way it is.

What do you think about that now you know how I feel, Say you can handle my love are you for real, I wont be hasty I'll give you a try if you really bug me then I'll say goodbye.

Yoi'll tell you what I want what I really really want, so tell me what you want what you really really want,

I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really want to zigzig ah.

If you want to be my lover you go to get with my friends make it last forever friendship never ends If you want to be my lover you have got to give taken is too easy but that the way it is.

So here's the story from A to Z you want to get with me you've gotto listen carefully We got Em in the place who likes it in your face, we got G like MC who likes it on an easy V doesn't come for free, she's a real lady and as for me you'll see. Slam your body down and wind it all around slam your body down and wind it all around.

If you wanna be my lover you go to get with my friends make it last forever friendship never ends if you want to be my lover you have go to give taking is too easy but that's the way it is

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta, slam, slam, slam, slam, slam your body down and wind it all around slam your body doun and wind it all around slam your body down and wind it all around slam your body down zigazig ah.If you wanna be my lover. Fade

I really respect songwriters who can use phrases such as:

1. I wanna really really really wanna zigzig ah
2. if you really bug me then I'll say goodbye
3. slam your body down and wind it all around etc.

and still rhyme! That is something that even the Beatles couldn't do. Coupled with their Girl Power theory, their music is certainly moving.

If I knew the girls a little better, I'd suggest that they replace tawdry spice with Xena Warriorwoman Spice - now that would be a potent mix. You'd get the power of a 6 foot plus woman (who doesn't need to rip the calipers off her boots to appear tall) coupled with the New Zealand musical sound. There is really something nice about an Amazon woman. The Spice Girls would be truly unstoppable!

Alternatively, they could decide to introduce some manpower into the band - that would probably be closer to just replacing poor Ginger. I'd suggest Bjorn and Benny from Abba as being the men to inject something spicey into the band and fill the lofty ginger shoes. Of course to fit both Benny and Bjorn into the carefully structed harmonies, you'd need to lose Baby Spice - but she was really only a "hanger on" to the deep talent of the other spices anyway.

I think it could work, really really work, ah.

Well, I'd better try to empty the already near empty mailbag which includes a note from Samantha

"Roger and Ellie,

Don't be disappointed that it was only a dream many great events started
with only a dream.  I like Spot, he sounds like a good friend to have. 
Speaking of money what unit(s) of currency do you use?  When mistress
Linda and I were talking a walk I found a odd coin.  Mistress Linda said
it came from Ireland and then she explained that each country has their
own type of currency.  She also said that they are all different in
relationship to their value to other countries.  My point is why don't
all countries use the same kind of currency.  I suggest bones.  They are
easy to carry and count.  Their value remains standard as to the type of
bone they are.  I find and use many bones along my travles.  I even hid
one when we were out of the state on vacation.  I need to do further
research as to who in the Department of Treasury I need to contact to
tell about the use of bones.  What do you think about this idea?"

Don't get me started on currencies! I have very strong feelings about the proposed common EC denomination!

I like your idea about using bones as currency, but the problem as I see it is that there are something like a billion bones stashed under a mountain in Switzerland. If we switched to the CBD ("common bone denomination"), it would be possible for nazis living in the depths of the mountain to control most world economies. This is exactly what they're counting on. Of course, when someone said that they're going to the CBD, you would also never be able to tell whether they were going to the central business district or the bank (the "common bone distributor"). This is another part of the devilish conspiracy!

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Take me to the next diary entry or show me the complete calendar!

I'd be very happy if you'd sign Master Craig's visitors' book before you leave (he won't create one for me).

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