Another boring week has dragged by....
No wedding invitation for us - readers from last week would remember that Master Craig spoke at his sister-in-law's wedding. We were expecting to receive an invitation, but none for us - I bet it's that old chestnut again - "Oh, you're just a dog" or "We don't want you shedding on the wedding cake" or "You'll tramp mud all through the place".
Anyway, it turned out that Ellie and I were needed - Young Master Elliot and his cousin Hadley both chose to start wailing through the ceremony. Well, both were entrusted to non-dogs and both managed to happily disrupt proceedings. If Ellie and I were there, there'd be no wailing - everyone knows that a baby never cries when being held by a dog.
Oh, I heard that even worse than the babies' screams was an over-eager celebrant who chose to photgraph Master Craig just as he looked up from his notes - effectively blinding him (by the flash) for the rest of the proceedings.
Anyway, Master Craig and Mistress Liz seemed happy enough with the ceremony - only one thing Master Craig is still grumbling about - apparently Young Master Elliot bounces when dropped from a height (Master Craig told me not to write about this because relatives (and it WAS one of them who did the dropping) might read this note). Elliot looks a bit out of shape, but if the baby is that fragile, then why would you bother having one - in fact, I'd be quite happy to be dropped by Master Craig - since the little bundle of tears turned up, there hasn't been a lot of bonding going on between Master Craig and Moi.
I was thinking that Young Master Elliot could be spirited away like the child in Ned and Stacy on TV - remember that Rico and Amanda had a young boy child? Well, I've heard nothing of the kid since the first season - Rico and Amanda are always out (especially since getting the donut shop - last night was the "donut bitch" episode) - we wonder who's looking after the kiddy. Ellie thought that the kid may have gotten whooping cough and died (it's become a problem at least in Australia since many parents have decided not to vaccinate their kids) - but I thought that you'd have to at least have an episode devoted to whooping cough where the child dies at the end - there's great opportunities for some very funny lines and sight gags.
That got me to thinking about our diet and the many health scares in Australia at the minute - it's not so much that you might die of some food-related disease, but which one you will die of. It's like the sugar-artificial sweetener conundrum - do I want to perish from diabetes or cancer? Or the salt question - do I want hardening of the arteries or tasty food? Oh well....
Having the family away over the weekend did give Ellie and I a bit of time to reflect on important matters (we refer to such time as "sabbatical"). We've been looking over the past 3 years since Ellie arrived and decided that it was about time to get a logo. We've been a bit envious of Master Craig's vague attempts in this direction and decided that we should get our act together and just do it:
But we were a bit unhappy with it all - I don't know - our eyes are a bit darker, our fur a bit shinier - and we aren't showing any teeth - is it too raunchy to show our teeth in a logo? Anyway, we thought that we'd open it to our readership - are there any graphic artists out there? Or even people with a paint program? We invite anyone to submit a logo for consideration (we will post any logos in our next diary note).
It may also be possible to improve on our hastily drafted "Roge and Elle - who could ask for more?" slogan. There were numerous other slogans which were thrown aside for artistic, academic and good taste reasons:
That also got me to thinking that, if the logo is good enough, we'll have to have some T-shirts, mugs and stickers made up.
This week we got some mail!
First to some sad news:
Roger and Ellie Well poor old Mr. Dog's liver finally got to him and made him give up the ghost today. He was a good old fella. Now what's a puppy to do? No one to boss about anymore. And I can't chase diapers like you all. We're all very sad here. Hope all is well down under. Watson (fondly known as 'What Sin' by the dear departed.)
Watson, we do send our condolences to you and your family. It's a problem, but we all die sometime (Master Craig actually chose to speak about preparing for death at last week's wedding - go figure). You need to press for a puppy of your own - I could send you Ellie or perhaps Elliot?
Next to Dezel:
Hi Rogernald, I have decided to forgive you even though you said all of those nasty things about my attempts to get a credit card. If you got a credit card you could get your own external terminal, mobile phone and all sorts of other things so they are not to be sneezed at. On the subject of looking over Master Craig's shoulder, I was visiting my master Craig and saw this article on the internet he was reading in the law society journal. It was written by your master Craig and looked really interesting. They were talking all this tax stuff which is a bit boring (although the old copies of the act are good to chew on). I kept expecting him to get onto the important stuff on the net like your home page and all his jokes but he did not mention them at all. I would suggest you have a strong word with him about such a significant oversight. I also wanted to know how you are going at training Baby Elliot. I have just about got Toddler Kirra (they call them Toddlers once they get off all fours although I can never understand why they would want to do this given you can get arround so much faster on 4 legs) trained in throwing balls and sticks for me. You should work on Baby Elliot to do this as soon as possible. She is also getting much better at passing the food off her plate to me, she can just about do it without getting caught now although mistress Linda keeps a sharp eye on her. hoping to hear from you soon your pal Dezel ps. did you notice the extracted copy of Cafe Craig contained the first question my master asked on the web.
To answer the last first - I hadn't actually noticed you basking in Master Craig's ample shadow!
Next to the stick thing - I've always told Ellie not to throw sticks - it could put an eye out. I would be talking quite sternly to Kirra about the potential problems of stick throwing. What will be next? Knives? As for balls, when Master Craig throws a ball, we rarely return it to him - normally we fight over it a bit and then find something more interesting to do down the bottom of the garden.
As for Master Craig's internet article in the Law Society Journal - apparently it has something to do with his work - sounds BORING!
And lastly, to Samantha:
Roge and Ellie, I am very sorry that it has been so long since I wrote you. All things were in chaos for the past weeks. Even I, Samantha, have been forgotten. While mistress had a big party I was all but invisible. Even the usual walks were forgotten. As I sat ignored, I became angry and found unusual ways of getting even. As I now know it is not in my best interest to strike out and get even. I too was a bad dog. But spring is in the air and I am out of the dog house so to speak. Tell Master Craig he will be just what that wedding needs. I think that he has just the right amount of humor mixed with the reality of marriage. While marriage is the most serious of the humans bonds to make it work correctly there must be a mixture of both fun and work. All work and no play didn't make Jack a happy camper. I feel communication and compromise are key to life. While dogs communicate much better the humans both need to work at it to make things happen. Compromise is key because when you compromise it is like you loose. Right now you don't get your way but next time you will. Remember good things come to all those that wait. Samantha -The Good Dog-
Sounds like, you would've given a better message than Master Craig at the wedding - less emphasis on sin and death and more on working at marriage. I didn't mind the doggy quote that much though (see last week's diary note).
If there was a party, how could you be ignored? The 4-letter word wasn't used was it - ROPE. Or even worse - CHAIN. Barring such unfortunate circumstances, Ellie and I normally get noticed (and get that pat from strangers - although to all the kiddies out there - beware of getting patted by strangers). Parties often call for opening doors, crawling under doggy barricades, storming through fences and, of course, mud (my signature).
Until next week....
Take me to the next diary entry or show me the complete calendar!
I'd be very happy if you'd sign Master Craig's visitors' book before you leave (he won't create one for me).
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