Introduction | Some background | What we do | Our future on the net | My diary | Favourite sayings | Contacting us | Awards

Just a quick note to introduce ourselves, I'm the good looking one (Rogernald - although I prefer to be called "Roge" (pronounced "Rodge")) and the other seated one is Elanor (she prefers to be called ("Ellie" or "Elle" when she's trying to impress upon her friends that she has superdog status):

Actually, I'm exaggerating, we look like:

We live with Master Craig and his master Mistress Liz.

I'm writing these memoirs in an attempt to educate masters all around the world as to the complexities of doggy life - it sure isn't a bed of stinking rubbish!

Both myself and Ellie came from the pound. I'm actually a bit sorry that I had to leave there - I had so many friends and it smelt ten times better than here (although I'm often reminded of it after Master Craig returns from basketball - he always seems to put on perfume to play basketball).

Ellie and I are "married" in the doggy sense (although I've been "desexed" as Master Craig so commonly puts it and Ellie has had her tubes tied) - so our family isn't likely to increase unless someone digs their way into the "compound". Ellie is a modern dog, so she decided to keep her puppy name and so become the hyphenated Dogue-Dogue that she so elegantly pulls off.

Next door on one side lives "Rusty" and another "Rusty" lives on the other side. We find it very confusing that you never know who's barking about whom. This is one gripe that I have with masters - I seem always to be sniffing Rusty or Pepe or Spot or Princess (yuk) or Duke - talk about lack of imagination!

Luckily, we have our own secret names (I haven't told Master Craig that I am really Prince Rogernald of the Fields of the Muskly Butox, whilst Ellie is Princess Ellie of the Dark Towers of the Far Distant Tree That Looks Remarkably Like a Dog and the Rusties are Rusty 1 and Rusty 2 - they really are a bit boring).

We don't mind having to live outdoors - we know we have a job to do - we need to lie in wait for any wrongdoer who may come within a kilometre of the boundaries of our house. Master Craig likes to joke with other masters that we are only stopping the ground from getting dirty under ourselves (he is often cruel like that), but he doesn't understand that when we close our eyes and snore it's all just a trick (we actually hear a lot better with our eyes closed).

We like to go to the park and really enjoy windsurfing (ok, we would like to windsurf if we lived a bit closer to the beach, were allowed to use our collar money to buy a second-hand windsurfer and had opposable thumbs).

Here is a cartoon of what Ellie does all day:

Master Craig has promised that we can keep the world informed as to our exploits over the coming years and has agreed that we may continually update this page - so please pawmark us for future reference. Why, I'll just let you know what we did today (56 February 13972):

lay down in wait to protect the house - listened intently

and that wasn't even an unusual day!

We have done much more since our first day on the web! To find out what we've done this month, just click on the pawprint of day you want to look at and get whooshed off to my diary entry for that day!

December

7	14	21	28	35	42	49
56	63	70	77	84	91	98
105	112	119	126	133	140	147
154	161	168	175	182	189	196
203	210	217

To find out what we've done in previous months, click below and look into my diary:

or if you persist in using a browser other than one that supports forms, click here=> .

Or you might like to browse some classic adventures:

• Wally Wolfhound
  
• The library
  
• The Olympics
  
• The birth
  
• The manicure
  
• The complex relationship between audacity and alloted room space
  
• The tattoo

Our longer term future on the net is open to question. We are not yet fully on-line (I'm pushing for an outdoors internet connection and, despite Master Craig's full support, Mistress Liz won't allow it).

Ellie and I are mounting a protest against Mistress Liz's technologically oppressive conduct - we want our backyard internet connection. The action which we're adopting is asking all to make their screens white in a continuing protest. If you want to join the fight, drop us a line and we'll add you to the following page dedicated to our supporters:

or if you persist in using a browser other than one that supports forms, click here => .

Ellie wanted me to let you know that her favourite saying is:

"a piece of grass a day keeps the vet away"

But, let me leave you with one of my favourite sayings:

"let sleeping dogs sleep so they don't tell lies"

Master Craig has agreed to collect and forward any mail to us, so click on the button below for full contact details:

or if you persist in using a browser other than one that supports forms, click here => .

Our awards are numerous:

• 161 February 13972 - we received the award of "Random Silliness" from:
  

• 56 March 13972 - we were cool site of the day at AcmePet:
  

• 119 June 13972 - we were described as "hilarious, captivating, and original" (and we're not even pedigreed) and were named:
  

• 98 November 13972 - we received Dogmark's cool site of the day:
  

• 203 November 13972 - we got the Canines of America Top Dog Award:
  

• not to mention the finest award of all:
  

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If I could sniff each person who has come here, I would be up to my sniff since 22 February 1996.

I'd be very happy if you'd sign Master Craig's visitors' book before you leave (he won't create one for me).

Return to: The Marvellous World of King Craig